Tag: Romney

  • Something Happened: Mittens the Nominee (but does it really mean anything?)

    Something Happened: Mittens the Nominee (but does it really mean anything?)

    In keeping with Catholic family planning tradition, Santorum has rigorously upheld the Rhythm method. He’s placed the thermometer of political support into the open and willing mouth of the American public and taken their temperature to see if they’re ovulating. On finding the temperature of the public to be not within the range of a…

  • Something Happened: The Most Disappointing of Tuesdays

    The hype around ‘Super Tuesday’ a few days before the giant primary competition was palatable. It was to be the ground upon which Romney would finally break the back of Santorum and ascend to his righteous place on the holy throne of nomination.

  • Something Happened: Why I Absolutely Fucking Hate Rick Santorum

    Something Happened: Why I Absolutely Fucking Hate Rick Santorum

    As the Republican candidate shitstorm has reached a fever pitch, the Republican party members are doing absolutely everything they can to not nominate Mitt Romney. The initial polling is even starting to look like Romney might not take his home state of Michigan. This is absolutely insane. Understandably, staunch conservatives are revolted by Romney, because…

  • Something Happened: A Primer for the Upcoming Whirlwind of Stupidity

    Something Happened: A Primer for the Upcoming Whirlwind of Stupidity

    The US presidential election cycle is quite possibly one of the most insane and farcical media circuses on the planet. Unlike 2008 when there were two separate primaries going on (Democratic and Republican for those of you playing at home) the Dems think they’re onto a winner with Obama, so we’re watching the Republican contenders…