Tag: President

  • Something Happened: Mittens the Nominee (but does it really mean anything?)

    Something Happened: Mittens the Nominee (but does it really mean anything?)

    In keeping with Catholic family planning tradition, Santorum has rigorously upheld the Rhythm method. He’s placed the thermometer of political support into the open and willing mouth of the American public and taken their temperature to see if they’re ovulating. On finding the temperature of the public to be not within the range of a…

  • Something Happened: Why I Absolutely Fucking Hate Rick Santorum

    Something Happened: Why I Absolutely Fucking Hate Rick Santorum

    As the Republican candidate shitstorm has reached a fever pitch, the Republican party members are doing absolutely everything they can to not nominate Mitt Romney. The initial polling is even starting to look like Romney might not take his home state of Michigan. This is absolutely insane. Understandably, staunch conservatives are revolted by Romney, because…