I Don’t Look Disabled

By Anonymous

People have the funniest ideas 

Of what disabled people are

And aren’t 

And all too often I am told

I don’t look disabled 

I’m young, not even 30 

And fit the stereotypes of Western beauty 

And I wasn’t born disabled 

And all too often I get told 

I’m too young and pretty to be disabled 


I wonder if they’d still say that if they could see

The days when I wake up in so much pain that I can not move

How it wracks my body 

The convulsions, the tears

But I don’t look disabled 


I can walk, most days at least 

I can sit and jump 

And on good days I can even carry my laptop 

And all too often I get told 

I’m too mobile to be disabled 


I wonder if they’d still say that if they could see 

The lengths I have to go to, the damage it does to me 

I can walk to classes, but after 

I can do nothing but collapse 

But I don’t look disabled 


I’m a distinction average student 

I achieve, I excel 

Hell, I even out-perform many of my peers 

And all to often I get told 

I’m too smart to be disabled 


I wonder if they’d still say that if they could see

The hours that I sacrifice to achieve the way they do

No job, no social life 

The sleeplessness that comes from the irrational part of me

Telling me I’ve failed, that I’m stupid

That I can’t do this degree 

Even though I know it’s wrong it doesn’t stop

But I don’t look disabled 


I am truly blessed by the people in my life 

My friends, my second family 

I play games, go out for coffee 

And all to often I get told

I’m too social to be disabled 


I wonder if they’d still say that if they could see

The nights spent wondering if all my friends are talking about me 

behind my back – the constant fear of rejection 

I sabotage my own relationships 

Or smaller things

I can’t make eye contact, or stop moving my hands 

And I jump topics like a child on a sugar rush 

But I don’t look disabled 


There are none so blind as those who choose not to see 

And sometimes I wonder if they’re really looking

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