I hope the first few weeks of university find you well. I am writing this letter to inform you of perhaps the most amazing and fulfilling university experience open to you. You may be pondering, dear Student, what is this great opportunity I speak of?
Why, it is none other than the incredibly rewarding life of university politics. It is through university politics that so many fine representatives of Australian democracy have honed their skills and learnt their trade.
I implore you to find your calling, whether that is left or right, and soon you shall be marching to the beat of your faction’s drum! Changing the world, one flyer at a time.
From protests to stacking out meetings, you shall transform yourself into a stellar hack in no time at all! You shall be the envy of all your non-political friends. They will be amazed at your insider knowledge of secretive party machinations; indeed, you will become so synonymous with factions, it is practically your middle name!
Before you know it, university students shall veer away from you merely upon sight, as you approach them for yet another campaign. But do not fear, dear Student, for you shall be warmly embraced into your faction, and soon they shall be your only friends. Politics will become your world! An exclusive bubble reserved for only the finest provocateurs of university life.
Do not fret, however, for all your countless weekends spent toeing the party line by campaigning at train stations and local shopping centres in suburbs (you secretly ridicule) shall be worthwhile. All your time spent away from loved ones, or ignoring your studies, only pushes you closer to your factional overlord of an MP. They may not appear gracious or humble, but they are, because without you, they would never be able to fulfill their political aspirations, and like you, change the world for the better! (Or at least your resume.)
And so, dear Student, I hope I have convinced you to follow suit and heed my call. Join today and help contribute to the very irrelevancy of student politics.
Connor Mulholland [twitname]connormul94[/twitname]