By Twoey Jones Somewhere out there, an alternate universe exists. UNSW has always had a trimester model, and is currently switching to a new model with two teaching periods each year that they call… “semesters”. In this alternate universe, one thing remains the same – the SRC is up …
Read More »The Ministry has Fallen
By Dominic Giannini The ministry has fallen. ScoMo is dead. They are coming. The Dark Lord Dutton has announced that he has taken over the Ministry of Magic Home Affairs. No longer will the impurity of muggles and refugees be allowed to mix and breed with the mainland …
Read More »Seven Things Women Must Remember
By Hersha Gupta In today’s modern age, women are constantly striving to prove themselves, running the race with men to be independent and ambitious. But there are some duties that are just better done by us women! Restore that grace and humility that makes us truly unique, and follow these seven things …
Read More »PUP Put Down As Grog Dog Palmer Finds His Legs
By Garry Lu With his recent retirement from politics, Clive Palmer has taken up the noble profession of memes. Inside sources suggest that although Palmer has shrugged off the cloak of political influence, he is currently endeavouring to lobby for “more control towards foreign markets” to “promote the use of …
Read More »White-Australians Rejoice As Stolen Jobs Are Finally Gifted Back to Their Rightful Owners
By Courtney Thompson Last week, it was announced that the 457 Temporary Work Visa, which allows foreign immigrants to temporarily live and work in Australia under employer sponsorship, would be abolished. Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull claimed that the driving force behind these changes is the necessity to “put Australians first”. …
Read More »The Deputy Vice Chancellor of Education Sends Out (Another) Email To Students & Staff: “Why Does Nobody Read My Emails?”
By Stephen Brannon Deputy Vice Chancellor Merlin Crossley has blasted students and staff in an email sent late last night. “If you are receiving this email, it is because you did not open and read my last one,” the email began. “My only question is: why not? Is the content …
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