Satire

By Tim Collis You salute to the portrait on the wall of the classroom. A stern face gazes down, surveying the pupils who are eager to leave. It is 5:00pm. The portrait’s eyes follow you as you leave. No one speaks ill of her, but everyone thinks it. You walk …

By Claire Keenan Environmental Science students are in despair, one  that we spoke to stating that despite having spent years fighting against the mould of institution and raising awareness for every student-centred movement on campus, having to hand out one just more ‘cancel trimesters’ flyer had finally convinced him that …

By Rhys Rushton Report commissioned by The University of New South Wales into the Viability and Utility of Arts Degrees. Abstract: This is but one excerpt of an upcoming report into the strange being that is the Arts student. Misunderstood and much maligned, I have decided to let the subjects speak …

By Yvette Hammerschmidt   After years of delays, cost blowouts, and the unending tears of hundreds of small business owners, the day of the Anzac Parade light rail opening was meant to be a joyous occasion. The day started in a celebratory fashion, complete with ribbon cutting and the exciting announcement …

By Belis Beattie A shocking recent discovery, made simultaneously by both UNSW Conservatives and the Socialist Alternative, has revealed that peacocks are actually like, really cool. This realisation comes after one of the said peacock species was found at UNSW’s upper campus on the Library Lawn. Reports indicate that the peacock …

By Jimmy Wiseau   Thousands of UNSW students have gathered to celebrate, swap well-wishes, and have even taken to Moodle forums to express their joy at the recent five-year anniversary since the CBD South East Light Rail (CSELR) was approved for construction. Students of the university were reportedly impressed and …