By Sarah Fernandes
get really into professional wrestling
listen to post-rock
eat lots of pizza
have an obscure taste in comedy
call people “mate” and “dude” and “man”
wear collared shirts with ironic prints
invest in cryptocurrency
play indie video games
have lots of progressive friends
smoke weed
watch documentaries
educate yourself about state politics
don’t cry after a breakup
wait 8 months between haircuts
worship Spike Jonze
drink beer
wear the same overcoat every day in winter
drive with confidence
don’t fuss about walking home alone at night
buy OFWGKTA merchandise
have a sex buddy
boast about never attending class
reference The Simpsons as much as possible
start a band
forget everyone’s birthday
make your internet presence as ironic as possible
only move your upper body at concerts
never clean the shower
always wear the same eight shirts
become cooler than other brown girls
become cooler than other white girls
become a white boy