Arc Leads Way To Progress

Over the last few weeks thousands of students have joined Arc and signed up for a whole year of wonderful campus life.

Making sure students get the most from their time at UNSW is the foremost aim of Arc, and our student organisation puts the considerable resources of its marketing, finance, IT, retailing and advertising departments behind achieving just that.

One student who spoke to Tharunka said she was looking forward to a year with Arc. “If the wonderful mocktails and pool garden at O-Week were a sign of the quality of Arc services, this is going to be a great year indeed,” she said.

Still, many students are unaware that Arc offers a dizzying array of amazing services for students to enjoy on campus. The diligent, tireless workers, in marketing, for instance, struggle day in and day out to to bring students the joy of shiny printed materials and promotional items on behalf of Arc’s esteemed sponsors. From concept to finished product, these fearless Photoshop warriors aim only to please Arc’s ever-expanding student numbers.

Behold! Arc’s amazing directors, selflessly devoting their precious time, forever dealing with matters at hand quickly and with the greatest care. No leaf, no stone remains unturned to ensure Arc members benefit from the most excellent student services.

And Hark! To the distant corners of this glorious organisation. Apart from the wonderful drinking facilities already mentioned, albeit obliquely, Arc offers all sorts of goods for members. A line of stylish student diaries is provided free! Hundreds of clubs affiliate with Arc, and even free legal advice is dispensed from within the hallowed halls of the Block House.

Of course, it is now thanks to our wonderful university administration that Arc’s coffers are groaning under the immense, golden bounty of SSAF funds, leading our beloved organisation into the twenty-first and then the twenty-second century, head-first, chin held high, fist in the air.

A spirit of solidarity fills our campus, spreading itself from Blockhouse up to Whitehouse, and perhaps one day up to the far reaches of Upper Campus. Joy for all students of the world, united as a front against the oppressive university administration in pursuit of sponsorship dollars and glossy websites and the like. Hello Sneaky Sound System! Hello S Club Seven! Hello Sublime! Hello Antonia!

Dear students, for whom every day as a member for Arc is a blessing double that of any religious joy experiences, dear students, for whom every day as a member of our glorious community of students is a wonderful panacea of delights, be blessed in our golden temple of paradise!

Behold! For now we march into the ascending sun of the righteous student organisation with a slogan of joy, with the staff and students that one day will hold sway across the entire campus and begin another wonderful campaign extolling the virtues of St George, of Fairfax, of Vivid Wireless, of Bain & Company. Behold! Mitt Romney! Los principios no son negociables!

Kylar Loussikian
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