A is for Alcohol
Let’s cut the shit, the only reason you’re reading this guide is so you can buy more of it. A is also for AUSSIE BAR, home of the cheapest beer in Sydney ($7 a jug) and even cheaper pub food ($5 steaks). Aussie Bar, or the Gladstone Hotel, is located at 115 Regent St, about a minute’s walk from Railway Square.
B is for Bar Century
(Yes, another alcohol related tip..) Bar Century is the Holy Grail of George St pubs; $3 drinks, hot backpackers and a $19 a night hostel above it. Bar Century is on the corner of George and Liverpool St’s, above Hungry Jacks.
C is for the Cycle Re-Cycle Club
Bikes are a great way to keep fit and save money on travel, but they can be expensive. That’s where Cycle Re-cycle comes in, they’re a volunteer group that fix broken bikes and give them back to members of the community. Attend one of their twice a week bike repair workshops, and you could grab one too! The Cycle Re-Cycle Club meets from 5-9pm on Monday’s and Wednesdays at 1 Phillip St, Waterloo (cnr Phillip and Cope Sts)
D is for Dumpster Diving
Sometimes the only thing standing between you and awesome free shit is the part of your body telling you it’s a bad idea to eat food from a garbage bin. And In this case, it’s completely wrong. Each day supermarkets throw out tonnes of perfectly good food, and it’s your duty to steal it from their garbage bins. For a quick guide to Dumpster Diving check out www.wikihow.com/Dumpster-Dive.
E is for Employment Centre
Not to get a job or anything (LOL!), but these places generally rock a mean free coffee hook-up. To find your closest Commonwealth employment centre visit centrelink.findnearest.com.au.
F is for Flying Fajita Sisters
Get irresponsible on Tuesday nights at Flying Fajita sisters, $3 tacos, and $3 shots of tequila. You should probably just go ahead and write Wednesday off.
Flying Fajita Sisters is at 65 Glebe Point Rd, Glebe. Booking are essential, so phone ahead on 9552 6522.
G is Group buying
Group buying is the new hip internet thing, that lets you scam heaps big discounts on cool inner-city type stuff. I won’t go into the specifics of how it works, but I just bought 10 Whoppers for $2 a pop, WIN! Google “group buying sydney” and you’ll get all the big names. My favourite is scoopon.com.au, but be warned if you sign up for their email list they will email you daily!
H is for Home Brew
Home brew is cheap. How cheap? One dollar per litre of beer, cheap. It costs about the same to make cider, wine, and spirits. If you’re not home brewing, you need to take a good hard look at yourself – you’re obviously doing everything wrong. K-Mart sells home brew starter kits for $85, they contain everything you need to make 23L of beer.
I is for Instant Noodles
Because proper nutrition is for yuppies! Seriously though Mi Goreng is cheap and tastes like addiction. Buy it in bulk from your local Asain grocer and you’ll be paying about 30c a pack for those bad boys. Did you know that make Mi Goreng, Mi Gormet? For the recipe head to www.ifood.tv/recipe/stir_fry_instant_noodle_with_beef.
J is for Just Jeans
According to one of my friends Just Jeans gives a lifetime warranty on their jeans. Yeah, that’s right? I know, WTF?! Apparently you’re covered for the whole she-bang; crotch rips, tears etc. So that’s your jeans sorted for life! Someone please tell me if this is true, or just the most retarded rumour ever! email@example.com
K is for Krishna food
Every night between 6 and 6:30 the Hari Krishna’s serve up their magic vegetarian curry at the Newtown Hub. I don’t know what’s in it, but it tastes delicious, and has many vegetables (read: AVOID SCURVY!). Best of all, it’s pay by donation. The Hari Krishna food van generally shows up between 6-6.30pm at the Newtown Hub Monday – Friday.
L is for the Lansdowne Hotel
No guide to cheapskate Sydney would be complete without a mention of the Lansdowne. Although there are places serving cheaper pub grub, the Lansdowne remains an institution for a reason. Not only does it serve $7 chicken schnitzels, but it’s also a genuinely nice place to enjoy them. The Lansdowne hotel situated on the Corner of City & Broadway.
M is for Magic brownies, cupcakes & other baked goods
Still smoking up like a dope? Save money by baking magic brownies, cupcakes and cookies! Scientifically speaking, this will help your absorb THC more efficiently, leading to a longer, cheaper, and more potent buzz. This ain’t yo mumma’s baking class, if you don’t want waste your time and pot making bad brownies check out www.drugs-plaza.com/recipes_weed_brownies.htm.
N is for Not Paying Rent
Paying rent is fo’ suckaz, and yupsters! Sydney has some of the most overpriced real estate in the world, and four people crammed into a 1 bedroom apartment ain’t cool. Squatting however totally is, and you might even save enough money for a down-payment on your future house (jks, haha! YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY!) If you don’t mind living in a dilapidated shit hole, Squat Space has a great guide to squatting in Sydney www.squatspace.com.
O is for Op-Shops
The Hope Street op-shop sells clothes for less than it costs to wash what you’re wearing, and Anglicare in Summer Hill sells them by the kilogram. Just think, you’ll never have to pay for laundry again!
The Hope Street op-shop is at 91 Forbes St, Woolloomooloo (a few minutes walk from William st). Anglicare Summer Hill is at 105 Carton Cr, Summer Hill, they charge $5 for the first kilogram, and $2.50 per kilo after that.
P is for Pad Thai 5 Dollar
I don’t know if they’re being ironic, but yes that is an actual name of an actual restaurant. Pay $5 and they’ll serve you a mean Pad Thai. Other items on the menu include $5 Pad See Ew, $5 Red Curry and $5 Green Curry (with FREE RICE!). Pad Thai 5 Dollar sits just off Glebe Point Rd at 151b Bridge Rd, near the Post Office.
Q doesn’t stand for anything
But seriously, toilet paper is handed to you for FREE in a room, with no cameras, and nobody watching you! If you don’t bag as much of it as humanly possible you need to put this down because we’ll never get along. Seriously, what the hell starts with Q?! If you can think of anything, email firstname.lastname@example.org and WIN*!
R is for RailCorp
You can generally find an open gate at most stations that aren’t Town Hall, Wynyard, or rush hour Redfern… just saying… Seriously, someone invent an app for this already.
S is for Sunday Afternoon at Paddy’s Market
If you are one of those freaks that eats fresh vegetables, then you’ll like Paddy’s Market on a Sunday afternoon. The sellers are looking to get rid of the last of their weeks stock, making scoring cheap veggies easy like your ex girlfriend, bitch. Paddy’s Market is half way between Central and Town Hall, just off George St. On Sunday’s they close at 5.
T is for Ten Dollar Sangria
Sangria is red wine and fruit, according to my doctor, both of those are good for me. Drinking $10 jugs of Sangria at the Broadway Lounge is a great way to pretend you’re being healthy. The Broadway Lounge is at 166 Broadway, across the road from Mountain St. You’ll need a loyalty card before you can buy the $10 jugs, but they’re free, just ask for one.
U is Used goods on street corners
You know those yupsters living down the road that you hate? Yeah, them. Chances are, every couple of months they’ll throw out some decent swag as they refurnish their X, Y, Z. Grab it, and dump your old stuff on the curb for someone else to take, it’s called the circle of life, get with it. PRO TIP: It can pay to get your electronics checked by a professional electrician before plugging them in. They may have been thrown out for a reason.
V is for Vagina
Grow one of these for all the free drugs, alcohol and sex you want! Someone REALLY needs to invent an app for this!
W is for Work in a CAFE!
It’s simple; work at a cafe, and you’ll never go hungry again! Generally you won’t even need to steal their food, they’ll give it to you for free! I’m a writer, not a waiter, try www.gumtree.com.au, dipshit.
X is for XXX
Cheaper than dating, ’nuff said! For all the free condoms you can stuff in your pockets, book an STI check up at your local sexual health clinic.
Y is for Your Parents
Unfortunately for them, your parents probably still love you. If you can’t be bothered cooking, or doing your laundry and find yourself coming down with a sudden bout of ‘home sickness’ – do them a favour, and just go with it. I don’t know where your parents live.
Z is for Zero Dollar Steaks
Yes, this exists. And yes, it’s amazing. Thursday night at the Cock’n’Bull in Bondi is $0 steak night. A drink purchase is required, but let’s be honest… you’re probably out drinking on a Thursday anyway. The Cock’n’Bull is at 89 Ebley St, Bondi Junction.