7 Reasons Why Being Single Is Awesome

  1. You don’t get a stupid present every month because it’s your X-month anniversary. Pfft, presents… LAME. If there is one thing we all know everyone hates, it’s getting presents for pointless reasons.

  2. You get to hang out with all your friends all the time! Every time they call, you don’t have to blow them off to spend time with your boyfriend. Every time they call, you are available. Every time they break up with their significant other, you are free to chat. Every time they need you, you will be there to be the supportive friend. Every time they want to go to that lame bar to have a crazy girls night out, you have no plans that you can’t cancel. EVERY TIME! How great is that?

  3. Every time you call your friend to hang out, they immediately invite you over. Their overly affectionate boyfriend is also there, every time. Learning to be a third wheel is really important in order for you to grow spiritually as a woman, you know? Treasure every pash-induced half hour of silence. Treasure this period of self-discovery*.

  4. Both sides of the bed are your side of the bed. Because you are the only one in it.

  5. If a girl farts in a room, and her non-existent boyfriend isn’t there to hear it, did it really happen?

  1. No unwanted pregnancy, cos you ain’t gettin’ no action! All that money you saved on contraception you can spend on movie tickets. Well movie ticket. For one. And a Jumbo popcorn, thanks.

  2. You will realise all the potential dates that have been standing right in front of you all along. You will catch yourself falling in love when you least expect it… “Turns out this meth addict guy who always aggressively stares at me at Centrelink is like a TOTAL babe and super sensitive.”

* you have 23 freckles on your upper thigh.

Freya King